tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-218837242024-03-07T16:26:28.664-05:00SouthQuestI started this blog on a journey to learn about my father, my maternal grandfather, and what it all meant to me. Now I'm diving deeper into the generations. The stories may get dark.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-7493102856888232872020-07-03T11:03:00.001-04:002020-07-03T11:03:32.304-04:00Boarding Call
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“I’ve
traveled widely in Concord.” I first heard this canonized phrase from the mouth
of one of my white, middle-aged English teachers at Mountain Heritage High
School. She pronounced it “CON-chord,” like the town with the NASCAR speedway
down near Charlotte. Thoreau likely pronounced it “CAHN-cerd.” It stuck with
me. It fit, in that tiny town.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwRaik9PNwkcr_sTfjM9O9hDQCLYaXU6G-GQUqDh3xMSwzO8FQwZTHDX2IbrQKbCOpOZwhtmU9KZrfhQyFSoymOdhLePHsgSM8scmsTRCbrBV6TTUYEuOcryqtUDg9-JxTI5O-_Q/s1600/sibling+tree.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwRaik9PNwkcr_sTfjM9O9hDQCLYaXU6G-GQUqDh3xMSwzO8FQwZTHDX2IbrQKbCOpOZwhtmU9KZrfhQyFSoymOdhLePHsgSM8scmsTRCbrBV6TTUYEuOcryqtUDg9-JxTI5O-_Q/s200/sibling+tree.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Sibling Tree</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The phrase
comes back to me often on my morning pilgrimage up to the ridge above my
valley. The path is so familiar—I even have names for individual trees and pieces
of the trail. My challenge is always to notice something new: a change in the light,
a new mushroom, a smell. Just once it was a bear. Sometimes the noticing is on
the inside: an insight or awareness of sadness that wouldn’t rise to the
surface in the course of my busy day. Sometimes it’s my own silliness.</div>
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A year ago,
I was preparing to launch myself across the world on a solo trip to Ecuador to
learn a new language. This morning the forest reminded me that in the time of
COVID we can <i>only</i> travel in Concord. Though my research has led me to
find places and libraries that I desperately want to visit, right now I can
only travel through books, the internet, and inside myself.</div>
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I must
travel widely right here. I have to have the courage that it took to land alone
in the middle of the night in a city where I didn’t speak the language. I must
challenge my limitations and question the dead ends. I need to find ways to
keep going when it seems like there’s no place to go.</div>
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This is me,
challenging myself to pack my bags and get moving again.</div>
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<![endif]-->sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-80699453593503174472020-05-29T09:59:00.002-04:002020-05-30T08:06:39.457-04:00A lizard and a gift<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8heMLsdTDvRrgcl8Iw1uuPP3Uvit9ZEYQ_bJOBhF-fIvq-7-YQGOX8vlekahC7rGEHcxPVqbjXfZNPijcf0h-JARcNxPxqIwzNyQfH5dI2cwxDYjW0EbfzrXnlk2ToP4yWFCxcA/s1600/Koinonia+hay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="201" data-original-width="216" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8heMLsdTDvRrgcl8Iw1uuPP3Uvit9ZEYQ_bJOBhF-fIvq-7-YQGOX8vlekahC7rGEHcxPVqbjXfZNPijcf0h-JARcNxPxqIwzNyQfH5dI2cwxDYjW0EbfzrXnlk2ToP4yWFCxcA/s200/Koinonia+hay.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sisters and friends at Koinonia</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Some of my
earliest fuzzy memories are of Collins McGee. He also lived at Koinonia Farm,
the integrated commune in south Georgia where I was born. I was just a toddler
when our family moved to Atlanta for Dad to take a job with the Georgia Council
on Human Relations, but my parents kept up their friendship with Collins. He
was a frequent guest at our supper table. The neighbors on that tree-lined street
who peeked out through their curtains didn’t like it when he showed up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What I
remember about Collins are the feelings. He was fun and playful. His hair was
big and fuzzy and soft. The most overwhelming feeling, though, is one of
SAFETY. Collins made me feel safe. And loved.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Fast forward
about 50 years or so.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This past
Tuesday afternoon, I was heading toward the door of the grocery store. A young black
guy ran out the door toward me, counting dollar bills from a roll he held in
his hand. I felt the white lizard brain that lives in my body. It bypassed my
thinking brain completely, wrapping its talons around my solar plexus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I noticed
it. And that’s what I did. I didn’t change my pace—I kept walking toward the
door. I didn’t change my direction or turn to see where the guy went. I breathed.
I tried not to hate my lizard brain. I created space inside my body.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Another
couple of steps nearer the grocery, someone else emerged through the sliding
doors. Above her mask she looked familiar, and her bright eyes told me that she
recognized me as well. She greeted me warmly, and I quickly confirmed that it
was who I thought—the newish wife of a very dear friend of mine. She told me he
was waiting for her in the car, and I should come over and say hello.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
When I got
there he cracked the window and immediately told me about the difficult times
they’d been having. “We’d appreciate your prayers,” he said. And I responded, “You’ve
got ‘em.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
These are
friends, also African American, who have had supper at our table. When times
are different, he and I regularly have breakfast together at Cornerstone. He’s been
a long-time important mentor in my life. Yesterday I checked in with him to see
if things were getting any better and he filled me in by text, ending with, “I
truly love you for who you are.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ZmeiSXkeMcbXUUBa-pu8bDOvB59hH3IE50wXeQx8ZsIobrImUNRzLg4UCkLtH2sfTo_0Obf-cfEELUcKTYJdelpyMQYv74BE4adsbad_-g64bPxp9aXm3kmS2u6GXlYk43hwbw/s1600/2+day+old+smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="736" data-original-width="559" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ZmeiSXkeMcbXUUBa-pu8bDOvB59hH3IE50wXeQx8ZsIobrImUNRzLg4UCkLtH2sfTo_0Obf-cfEELUcKTYJdelpyMQYv74BE4adsbad_-g64bPxp9aXm3kmS2u6GXlYk43hwbw/s200/2+day+old+smile.jpg" width="151" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two days old</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
At lunchtime
today, it will have been 54 years since Mom opened the window to call across to
the Koinonia dining hall, where Dad sat eating with Collins, my three sisters,
and members of the Koinonia community. “Al! It’s time to go to the hospital!”
Her water had broken. I was on my way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The birthday
gift I gave myself this week was to keep walking and not turn around. Just
creating a tiny bit of space inside my body. And the universe responded with a gift
of much-needed connection in a lonely time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
I’m not a
great or wonderful or amazing white person. I still have the lizard brain fully
wired into my body, despite my upbringing. But I am learning how to breathe.
And if other white people can also try to learn how to breathe, dammit, maybe
we can make some progress.<br />
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<![endif]-->sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-91029220535487025472020-05-15T20:28:00.001-04:002020-05-15T20:55:03.150-04:00What do you want to know?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt25hS5_Zr-OCdB8VY1KUEd1zKLEgGNWjU8fptvanjWY1KLAW_jR79bGWYcPmkik7n8KYWNwm7T8FnFOjArO0s_M9ebKcSzoWrp-BDjU_zJJY-_VDZY_yrvN6jA6dhKpDUTqGtFQ/s1600/gravel-hill-plantation-1955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="641" data-original-width="1024" height="125" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt25hS5_Zr-OCdB8VY1KUEd1zKLEgGNWjU8fptvanjWY1KLAW_jR79bGWYcPmkik7n8KYWNwm7T8FnFOjArO0s_M9ebKcSzoWrp-BDjU_zJJY-_VDZY_yrvN6jA6dhKpDUTqGtFQ/s200/gravel-hill-plantation-1955.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What do want
to know about Benjamin D’Ion Lawton Willingham, my great-great-great
grandfather? Birth date? When and where he was married? Plantation house where
he raised his thirteen children? (Still standing, now with a full-sized bear in the entry and a sunken jetted tub in the master suite: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARXy892kKWY">Gravel Hill on-line tour.</a>) His mansion after the Civil War, where he lived while he built his
huge post-war business? (Also still there—now houses seven apartments.) Favorite
brand of toothpaste? Yeah, I could probably figure that out, too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
But what
about the 100+ people he was enslaving in 1860? I can tell you their genders
(45 female; 59 male) and their ages (3 who were 60 years old, 36 between the ages of 18 and 59, 34 who were 11-17, and 31 aged 10 and younger. One was just four months old at the time of the 1860 census). That’s it. No
names. No stories. No nothing.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That is my
white privilege. That’s white supremacy.<br />
<br />
But I'm not giving up yet. </div>
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Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Mention"/>
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<![endif]-->sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-7350090345351742802020-05-08T16:56:00.001-04:002020-05-08T17:12:57.308-04:00Clouds<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIhblX7z0FB6YxPLZIprya9j2qjciFmuiGmx5SVP4yoRJvI5UruimZQg-2n_Is31wK3KwxL8qWZZE91kZWCgJcP2JF4IlnC9u3jwRC8A0_H5ndQQfZwIpV5CjQXbp78fgV9x8_hQ/s1600/clouds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIhblX7z0FB6YxPLZIprya9j2qjciFmuiGmx5SVP4yoRJvI5UruimZQg-2n_Is31wK3KwxL8qWZZE91kZWCgJcP2JF4IlnC9u3jwRC8A0_H5ndQQfZwIpV5CjQXbp78fgV9x8_hQ/s200/clouds.jpg" width="200" /></a>I woke up
feeling heavy and sad. My morning walk lifted the clouds for a
bit, but they wrapped around me again soon after I descended back to the
valley.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Today Ahmaud
Arbery would have celebrated his 26<sup>th</sup> birthday. My white son is 23--he runs in our neighborhood. I can’t stop thinking about Ahmaud’s
beautiful mother, Wanda Cooper-Jones. I speak her name aloud.</div>
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<br /></div>
With news
events like this, my tendency is to either consume it and let it consume me or
avoid it completely. There’s no middle ground for me. This story is swallowing
me up. Running 2.23 miles and taking a picture are not enough—I can’t outrun the injustice and grief.<br />
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<br /></div>
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I’m reading <i><a href="https://www.resmaa.com/books">My Grandmother's Hands</a></i>, and I’ve been thinking a lot about racialized trauma, reptilian
brains, and acts of violence that bypass reason. The murderers who stole Wanda Cooper-Jones’
light don’t deserve the benefit of a reptile-brain defense, and yet they are part
of this generational cycle of lynching that infuses our bodies and systems. It’s
so much bigger than these men, this southern town, this story.</div>
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<br /></div>
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These clouds
will lift. Blackberry winter will turn back into spring. But in a time when we
complain about wearing masks, I will wrap my arms around my son, knowing that
we do not deserve the sense of safety we take for granted.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<![endif]-->sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-53342746544327630262020-04-02T22:08:00.002-04:002020-04-03T08:32:19.638-04:00Just One of 'Em<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
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Richard
Furman was my 5x great-grandfather on my daddy’s side. If you’re from the south,
and especially if you have any Baptist in you, his name may ring a bell. Furman
University in Greenville, SC was named for him. My mama’s sister graduated from
there in the 1950’s.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
As far as I
can tell, Richard Furman was the Billy Graham of his day. The Baptists were
just getting started as a denomination then: they had their first national gathering
to organize in 1814 in Philadelphia. Reverend Furman, who was by then the
pastor of the already rich and powerful first Baptist Church of Charleston, was
elected president at that first meeting.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVGHA4DZkXftd7RyvlCXby9raXIvC4pvWlPrHU9Fq_ZubJPOGwjbFPbFI9asbDNLQ_K_poBQIYqsWWRyvemZN6YYqp5d2kYbPz1mO9mdz7wnsNGlZ_xbbfFl5rOnftj9bQlCUoqw/s1600/Furman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="476" data-original-width="310" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVGHA4DZkXftd7RyvlCXby9raXIvC4pvWlPrHU9Fq_ZubJPOGwjbFPbFI9asbDNLQ_K_poBQIYqsWWRyvemZN6YYqp5d2kYbPz1mO9mdz7wnsNGlZ_xbbfFl5rOnftj9bQlCUoqw/s320/Furman.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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But Richard
Furman was rich and powerful in his own right as well. He owned at least four
plantations, with many enslaved people on each and every one. In fact, he
regularly preached from the pulpit that slavery was “ordained by God.” That worked
out well for him, I guess.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And one more
thing: Furman’s first wife, Elizabeth, died shortly before he accepted the position
at First Baptist of Charleston in 1787. In 1789, at the age of 35, he married
again. His second wife was Dorothea, who was 15 years old when they wed. She
bore thirteen children before she died at the age of 45. He called her “Dolly;”
she called him Mr. Furman until the very end.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don’t yet
know what all this long-ago history means to me. I somehow carry it at a
cellular level, despite the ministers closer to me on the family tree, who
tried to do the right thing. The first step is for me to learn
this history and to face it head-on. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I wonder
when Furman University will be ready to do the same.</div>
sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-92042144752583857112020-03-19T17:27:00.002-04:002020-03-19T17:40:30.633-04:00A Pandemic of Plantations<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTX5dvt4bhlyzFqAqZI70B5pVDyIuEnFOOEAVSpt1aKgOuJ0K1VXmo906-ylWwSbuPRsLPIWkfwTplcxKYwDjO7WS13PPY5M0-tcrGBskV5-mGKqYUbUzIOctt0R9k4GGFoVfp6Q/s1600/IMG_1589+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="919" data-original-width="1600" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTX5dvt4bhlyzFqAqZI70B5pVDyIuEnFOOEAVSpt1aKgOuJ0K1VXmo906-ylWwSbuPRsLPIWkfwTplcxKYwDjO7WS13PPY5M0-tcrGBskV5-mGKqYUbUzIOctt0R9k4GGFoVfp6Q/s400/IMG_1589+cropped.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Last week I
visited the plantation of my great-great-great grandfather. I was so very glad to have my daughter Katie along to share the journey. But before we went to the plantation, we grounded ourselves in our shared racial history at the Legacy Museum in Montgomery,
were overwhelmed by the numbers of lynchings documented at the National Memorial
for Peace and Justice, and walked across the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma. <i>Then</i> we went to Billy the Wagon Maker’s plantation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I wanted it
to be real.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
While all
that was happening, an invisible menace was expanding across the country and
the globe, scarier even than the ghosts that threatened to keep me awake in the
echoing plantation house in Alabama.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Now I’m
home, and those of us who can are “social distancing,” “self-quarantining,” and
“sheltering in place” (I had never heard any of these phrases two weeks ago). For
me in the last two days that meant diving into the dark depths of my family on
Ancestry. It’s been my own disturbing, self-quarantined episode of “Finding
Your Roots.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes
you don’t want to know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB2InY0Ua04JG59Y8CMd2ydPHwejvjNbXmDExqfP-J0neikghwSj0vAAkyAnJZegmZExHjZp69rNmFcg7F-AyaJhrqMWgwgp5-8KwIMQowAHN5gHS_4yvCamTljKh85mBcCQ3k8Q/s1600/IMG_1903+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1569" data-original-width="1268" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB2InY0Ua04JG59Y8CMd2ydPHwejvjNbXmDExqfP-J0neikghwSj0vAAkyAnJZegmZExHjZp69rNmFcg7F-AyaJhrqMWgwgp5-8KwIMQowAHN5gHS_4yvCamTljKh85mBcCQ3k8Q/s200/IMG_1903+cropped.jpg" width="161" /></a>As we all
do, I have sixteen great-great-great grandfathers—the great-grandfathers of my
grandparents. Not so very distant from me, if you think about it. Of those sixteen
people, all but two of them enslaved other people: one on my mom’s side and one on my
dad’s. The total number of people enslaved by my 3x great grandparents in 1850
was 182. In 1860 that number was 313 people. And that’s just one generation of
my family—there are many others above and below them on the gnarly family tree.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The curve of
today’s virus, whether steep or gradual, will pass. Though it will take years,
our economy will recover.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
But I can’t
unknow what I’ve learned about my own family this week. And I have a better
understanding of why my dad thought we should all cast off our earthly
belongings and live in the woods. I’m beginning to realize that it wasn’t only
mental illness. It may also have been a need for penance. He knew what we came
from. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And now I do, too.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div>
sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-58938174861873295412020-02-27T16:52:00.001-05:002020-02-27T17:04:45.400-05:00Sliding Doors<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I wrote a book once.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">In fact, that book was born
out of this very same blog, which I’m now resurrecting. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">(I believe that it’s
time for the blog art form to make a return. Time to slow down and read more
than a few blistering characters at a time.) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">In that book, I wrote about
the closets in my childhood bedroom, in a cabin by the river way back in the
mountains:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 8.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 1.0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<i><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">My room had two closets on
either side of the window seat, and I pretended they were elevators. After shoving
the junk to the side (I was not an organized child) I got in, sliding the door
behind me. After a brief pause—one, two, three, four—I slide the door back open
and </span></i><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">voila<i>! I was in a whole different
place!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">My life at this moment feels
a lot like those sliding doors. I’m ending a nearly ten-year chapter at <a href="http://www.nonprofitpathways.org/">WNC Nonprofit Pathways</a>, where I’ve been a confidant for community leaders all
across these mountains I love so much.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">After tomorrow, I’ll step
through the sliding doors and emerge into a place that looks just the same (since I’ve
been working from home all this time) and yet is transformed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Into what? I’m
figuring that out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNasFVHmQHNvKmja45vCKzhNqtEUGXKIRKToh_-1PSW37MD7eKYdjl-CowvA4WKUUnP5qEoeDcaUyj3BhkRcfQFAQyWG_twyF5uVo5iSgu4pwTX7dmFxFQfxShNvjgPOp4Gnl4lg/s1600/d16f3038-1c06-4043-862d-ffb578b02cbf.jpg.webp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="720" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNasFVHmQHNvKmja45vCKzhNqtEUGXKIRKToh_-1PSW37MD7eKYdjl-CowvA4WKUUnP5qEoeDcaUyj3BhkRcfQFAQyWG_twyF5uVo5iSgu4pwTX7dmFxFQfxShNvjgPOp4Gnl4lg/s320/d16f3038-1c06-4043-862d-ffb578b02cbf.jpg.webp" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">It looks like I’ll going back
in time. Venturing to South Carolina and the “faraway land of Alabama,” as I
called it in my book. Learning about my ancestors who displaced native people,
enslaved other people, deeded their plantations to future generations, and handed
down their genes and privilege to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I’ll be back on the quest to
learn what it all means.</span></div>
sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-5861858987497442402008-11-05T20:56:00.002-05:002008-11-05T21:03:01.305-05:00Yes, we can.<div>Today I woke up feeling like anything is possible. If we can overcome all our long-held prejudices and elect this man to be President of the United States, anything is possible.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We can get past the recurring stumbling blocks at work, and find new ways of working together.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The kids can remember to do their chores without my prompting.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Maybe I can even finish this book I've been working on for so long.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Change is possible.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Yes, we can.</div><br /><div></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4TaR3w7NQXZ6sIKPgylUTM8o0UOjPz5S6kFueSpvGxY2_VgTr-QjqklmtKFL-Axp8XCwMfrbfTKKKPabLNt5KUcMFTNPrC_lxi5bVIWMS1lxWWU6pf8hHKFi4luvWmsOhwKy_g/s1600-h/hope.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265359074211749554" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 89px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 138px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4TaR3w7NQXZ6sIKPgylUTM8o0UOjPz5S6kFueSpvGxY2_VgTr-QjqklmtKFL-Axp8XCwMfrbfTKKKPabLNt5KUcMFTNPrC_lxi5bVIWMS1lxWWU6pf8hHKFi4luvWmsOhwKy_g/s320/hope.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-20530400354752000842008-08-08T19:47:00.002-04:002008-08-08T19:49:06.378-04:00something newI have a new blog. The link is over there to the left. <br /><br />My thoughts seem to be drifting more in that direction lately, so I decided to create a space for them.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-49828663935687590602008-05-25T23:31:00.009-04:002008-11-12T21:55:50.733-05:00Celebrations & Concerns<span>Today I stood up<br />in church<br />and asked everybody<br />to celebrate my mother. </span><span style="font-size:0;"><br /></span><br />Forty-two years ago<br />she was a few days away<br />from giving birth to me.<br />She's lived a good life,<br />and now she feels like she's done.<br /><br />I asked everybody<br />to pray<br />with Mom, for Mom<br />for all the days she has left.<br />There are so many,<br />stretching out ahead.<br /><br />When I sat down,<br />she leaned over to me.<br /><br />"Now that I've lost my brain," she said,<br />"I can't think."<br /><br />"But I still have a heart,<br />and I can still feel.<br />And I love you."<br /><br />I love you, too, my Mama.<br />For nearly forty-two years.<br /><br />And counting.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioaqZoYwCZ9i97Y5ZpYUMfxFAB7AYayPWkNJTAyU-GC1GLYzAsIQM42KeuGKatSjfjGz5aFurzyioQRMbuQ6SjKqKlBn64Ie6z8UWyepCbIQuIrGB-Wgbs5eIeXyKXPJE4tEnbDA/s1600-h/pew.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5204526556555156850" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioaqZoYwCZ9i97Y5ZpYUMfxFAB7AYayPWkNJTAyU-GC1GLYzAsIQM42KeuGKatSjfjGz5aFurzyioQRMbuQ6SjKqKlBn64Ie6z8UWyepCbIQuIrGB-Wgbs5eIeXyKXPJE4tEnbDA/s320/pew.jpg" border="0" /></a>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-10463781113409914482008-04-03T18:58:00.004-04:002008-11-12T21:55:51.038-05:00this dayI started this day with three dreams still tumbling around in my head. Fiery attacks, deaths of loved ones, emotional turmoil. My morning pages helped calm the storm.<br /><br />After the redheads left for their normal destinations, I visited Mom. It didn't take her long to figure out exactly who I was, even though I arrived unannounced. We played Scrabble. My one seven letter word (which earned me 74 points) was RELATED. It felt appropriate. We're still related. We still relate, though differently.<br /><br />From there I went out into the misty, moisty morning to walk a nearby labyrinth. It always centers my spirit, calms my soul. I breathed in the early spring air, walked carefully on the mossy paths, greeted the rocks as I came to them, again and again. In the center I sat. And listened. To the woods. To myself.<br /><br />This afternoon I plunged deeply into the 1972 brain of my father. I examined his week-at-a-glance calendar, page by page. There was no glancing about it--at some points I needed a magnifying glass to decode his cryptic astrological notes.<br /><br />Coming down to the kitchen, where my cheerful beloved was putting the final touches on supper, felt like swimming up from the bottom of a deep, murky pool. 1972 was so real--Dad hitchhiking back and forth, his fasting, his larger-than-life new age ideas. Could it really be that I actually live in 2008, under a roof, with a television and white rice, and a husband who earns a regular paycheck and comes home when we expect him?<br /><br />Have I really managed to fool the gods and end up with a mainstream, sane, safe, happy life?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4woe_CqEndjAfY3DrOigSMxiK-DQrb5xvfSoJ_o8uElSdaRq_4M-H2Cbrb5o_SATDwnII6Ea2GP7dxa_B_-6Gs480jwFL9CWrgySjm_f2JXEClethYpElb9zv1HbWVxxzR0IQaA/s1600-h/labyrinth.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185161872696034002" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4woe_CqEndjAfY3DrOigSMxiK-DQrb5xvfSoJ_o8uElSdaRq_4M-H2Cbrb5o_SATDwnII6Ea2GP7dxa_B_-6Gs480jwFL9CWrgySjm_f2JXEClethYpElb9zv1HbWVxxzR0IQaA/s400/labyrinth.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Labyrinth indeed.<br /><br />Gratitude abounds.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-60721068605145042782008-03-22T08:34:00.000-04:002008-03-22T08:35:19.711-04:00Cabbagetown storm<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqWZmTv5xgA">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqWZmTv5xgA</a>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-36926724012144539012008-03-06T13:42:00.002-05:002008-11-12T21:55:51.208-05:00Spring fever<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSwLTRnNJtb5VM2RtawjhPSkJzhmXMkJTZ1_iK5EVBLQyNERS2BfWrI5YKJrEMoAagLOP2m7qeyYlZpaS9l-A_nKUhxNm7mzbrNNp7NyikL6lEEN479jq0hRcNwASsjHrTL6z8g/s1600-h/daffs.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5174701206432973746" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSwLTRnNJtb5VM2RtawjhPSkJzhmXMkJTZ1_iK5EVBLQyNERS2BfWrI5YKJrEMoAagLOP2m7qeyYlZpaS9l-A_nKUhxNm7mzbrNNp7NyikL6lEEN479jq0hRcNwASsjHrTL6z8g/s200/daffs.jpg" border="0" /></a> I've got<br />daffodils<br />on my kitchen table,<br />wanderlust<br />in my heart.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaXsRZK_4Bdc_1lWQCg15taXcfyGOF2Xunk4YJE3g-Z5NId1z9X5iHRHueyaEGaByxwFYAbKQpWh_mx1WYtG8bDg5vLDKylqbRC3wTxf4nZwEyFqHyTxhc5q73BKAONK4RhsGdw/s1600-h/daffs.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div></div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-19280775370005288172008-03-02T18:01:00.010-05:002008-11-12T21:55:51.621-05:00fire next time<span>Our fireplace burns gas. And yet I split wood.<br /><br />My 11-year old son got in trouble at church for lighting matches in the Sunday school room when no adults were around. A match was smoldering on the couch, the other kids pointed the finger at him, and he was holding the book of matches when the adult walked in. And yet he claims innocence . . .<br /><br />During the service we learned that a dear member of our congregation, a white-haired blues-playing saxophone player with twinkling eyes, has been diagnosed with acute leukemia. Another seemingly healthy member of our church faced this same diagnosis a couple of years ago, and lived a matter of days.<br /><br />And then I spent a couple of hours with my mom--playing Scrabble, walking in a sun-filled field of hummocky almost-springtime grass. This time, for some reason, she didn't mention the fact that she prays every night for God to take her as she sleeps. But it's always in the air around her. I know she's ready to go. Why can't it be her turn instead? She's ready.<br /><br />Our fireplace burns gas.<br /><br />And yet I split wood.<br /><br />It's all I can do.<br /></span><span style="font-size:0;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDzPJYOXO-ci-4NFm8P-1D2VoMLdeDY4tkF0VrDTlyuBTYTwSML75HjEK3WScLmz2wf_8CQUkVSZw-sHbJM5NLMPttIKrui88LCzr9fT8vxdPUZCyqTzauxwnht6vHOMiDlFyjg/s1600-h/wood2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5173287254672183586" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDzPJYOXO-ci-4NFm8P-1D2VoMLdeDY4tkF0VrDTlyuBTYTwSML75HjEK3WScLmz2wf_8CQUkVSZw-sHbJM5NLMPttIKrui88LCzr9fT8vxdPUZCyqTzauxwnht6vHOMiDlFyjg/s200/wood2.jpg" border="0" /></a>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-32646400232208417152008-02-14T08:27:00.013-05:002008-11-12T21:55:51.761-05:00Finding FrancesOn my quest, thanks to the wonders of the internet, I've been able to find just about everybody I've looked for.<br /><br />I found Bill, my dad's boss from when he was an ambulance attendant in Atlanta, even though all the other family friends from that time told me that Bill seemed to have fallen off the planet.<br /><br />I found Neb, Jr., the now 80-year-old man who was the mythical child who called to my mother's sister Sunny from across the street, so that she dashed in front of an oncoming car. The whole family witnessed her death, as did Neb. He still remembers that day, nearly 75 years ago.<br /><br />I found Pilgrim Congregational Church, with the striking blue roof, where my dad was minister for a year and a half while Birmingham was coming apart, and so was the church. That church was torn down this week, sold to a developer to become a new housing development (see the story here: <a href="http://www.al.com/newsflash/regional/index.ssf?/base/news-34/120284634741750.xml&storylist=alabamanews">http://www.al.com/newsflash/regional/index.ssf?/base/news-34/120284634741750.xml&storylist=alabamanews</a>).<br /><br />Really the only people I haven't been able to find are the ones who have passed on. Those are the true heartbreaks--the people I would love to talk to, ask them to share their stories, hear what they have to laugh about, see the twinkle in their eyes. But they're gone.<br /><br />One of those is Frances Pauley. She was an amazing woman--a tireless worker for civil rights in Georgia. Spunky, fearless, determined. Julian Bond was quoted as calling her "everybody's grandmother and nobody's fool." She also happened to be my daddy's boss at the Georgia Council on Human Relations in 1967. It's part of the next chapter of my book.<br /><br />Frances died before I set out on this quest, so I've done what I could to find other ways to get to know her. My cousin gave me a book about her, written by folks at the Open Door Community in Atlanta, where she was active in her later years. I read that. Her papers are housed in special collections at the Emory University library, and I went down to check it out. I got more of a behind-the-scenes sense of her there, and began to form some hunches about what happened when Dad worked with her, which was her last fiery year at the Georgia Council. I recently had breakfast with a friend of mine who knew her, but my friend couldn't remember much.<br /><br />All of this left me wanting more. If only I could talk to her, ask her my questions, follow up on my hunches, hear her voice! I wanted to get to know her personally, have more connection than the words on a page.<br /><br />And yesterday it happened.<br /><br />I was dinking around on the internet, yet again, when I landed on the Southern Oral History Project at UNC, my own alma mater. On a whim I typed "Pauley" in the search place. And what do you think I found?! An interview that Jacquelyn Hall had conducted with Frances Pauley in the Pauleys' living room on July 18, 1974. The transcript <em>and</em> the recorded interview itself! I <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga75jXnX5vslqAPq5h_kEf-BXZU4-_PYQGeB78me2jai-ZRNKbX3J73sVLysnDFhHxuNFKEnW1xlAEhSKIubLwe_qMgppuK12QmbeQlbyeQ1hXQPENSppKsCaE7ADTsyOUV8lZvQ/s1600-h/Frances+Pauley.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5166841493838965474" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga75jXnX5vslqAPq5h_kEf-BXZU4-_PYQGeB78me2jai-ZRNKbX3J73sVLysnDFhHxuNFKEnW1xlAEhSKIubLwe_qMgppuK12QmbeQlbyeQ1hXQPENSppKsCaE7ADTsyOUV8lZvQ/s400/Frances+Pauley.jpg" border="0" /></a>could download it! I could listen to her voice! As I sat on the floor of my study, headphones on, enrapt, I marvelled that Dr. Hall asked most of the same questions I had been aching to ask Mrs. Pauley myself. I felt like I had time-traveled, and my wish was granted.<br /><br />One part sticktuitiveness, two parts luck.<br /><br />Ask and it shall be given unto you.<br /><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><br /><br /><div align="right">If you have some time and want to make a great new friend, follow this link: <a href="http://docsouth.unc.edu/sohp/G-0046/menu.html">http://docsouth.unc.edu/sohp/G-0046/menu.html</a>.</div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-17086578671538899462008-01-14T23:13:00.000-05:002008-01-15T12:35:06.309-05:00SandwichMaking a sandwich<br />is a constructive proposition.<br /><br />Gracefully spreading the condiments,<br />lovingly placing<br />the meat,<br />the cheese,<br />the fluffy green leaves of lettuce.<br /><br />Finally the two sides meet.<br />An arranged carbo marriage.<br /><br />My mother,<br />who no longer makes sandwiches,<br />still relishes them.<br />Her favorite<br />is peanut butter and jelly.<br />She has its name written<br />on a small piece of paper<br />by her bed<br />in the rest home<br />so she won't forget.<br />Again.<br /><br />My daughter prefers jam<br />with her peanut butter.<br />Or pasta, and no sandwich at all.<br /><br />The "sandwich generation" is a misnomer.<br /><br />I'm not a symmetrical union<br />of bread and whatever.<br /><br />I'm torn in two.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-90048245566402340442008-01-14T08:08:00.000-05:002008-01-14T08:53:02.022-05:00Leavin'When I was in elementary school, my sister Janet was a huge John Denver fan. She'd go in her room, shut the door, put him on her little blue record player, and turn it way up.<br /><br /><div align="center"><em>I'm leavin' on a jet plane . . .</em></div><br />Janet wished she could be the one flying far, far away.<br /><br />During my toddler years (the chapter of my book I'm working on now), my dad was the one thinking of leaving. He would talk for hours to his friend Dave about how the Bible says we should "leave all to follow Jesus." Both Matthew and Mark tell the story, when Jesus said to his disciples, "everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold, and will inherit eternal life." Dad was convinced, as early as my own bubbly toddler years, that this was his calling. Leave it all for Jesus.<br /><br />When I try to divorce this idea from my emotion--when I banish thoughts of my curly yellow head and chubby baby hands, when I try not to think about how hard Mom was working to hold our family together in those troubling times, when I don't think about all that my sisters endured for the sake of Dad's callings--the irony remains.<br /><br /><em>This</em> is The Book of Family Values? Have those people who wield the Bible Belt even <em>read</em> this book?<br /><br />Leave All.<br /><br />Love All.<br /><br />Just the difference of a couple of vowels. Jesus was somehow preaching both. But as the one left behind, it sure didn't feel that way.<br /><br />Jesus' next line, in both Mark and Mathew's versions of the story, was "the first will be last and the last will be first."<br /><br />So those of us left behind--are we the first or the last?<br /><br />But either way, though there was no question that I felt abandoned when my daddy finally left for good, in retrospect it is pretty clear that we were better off. Safer. Saner. Happier.<br /><br />So . . . last-first, first-last, irony or no, I guess it's possible.<br /><br />Love all.<br /><br />Leave all.<br /><br />But I like it better when I can have the loving without the leaving.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-80900824383205514422008-01-07T11:54:00.000-05:002008-11-12T21:55:52.213-05:00ResolutionHappy New Year!<br /><br />I used to have the same resolution every year: No Resolutions. I didn't like setting myself up to fail. But last year I tried a new tactic. My resolution was:<br /><br /><div align="left"><strong>More cussing in 2007.</strong> </div><div></div><br /><div align="left">It worked out pretty well. I definitely did better in the first part of the year, rediscovering the days of my youth by letting it fly on a pretty regular basis. My children were agog. By the end of the year, the joy of the four letter word was wearing off, so I sort of fell off the wagon. So this year I have a new one: </div><div align="left"><br /><strong>More rhinestones in 2008.<br /></strong><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtl7Iydi6DjwJSe0Qn0WJf9kPVgHWP5D-clvfJbo4LvPSxXfZN-wJxmZyA1A0GH-ksrjijQZv5T493Pw_m55GTNZBBO5JxOEWx2vpwgZEntUz0El8e_0Wjy_38-0fE8Mnma9Vq1Q/s1600-h/blog+res+keychain.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5152789520811050530" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtl7Iydi6DjwJSe0Qn0WJf9kPVgHWP5D-clvfJbo4LvPSxXfZN-wJxmZyA1A0GH-ksrjijQZv5T493Pw_m55GTNZBBO5JxOEWx2vpwgZEntUz0El8e_0Wjy_38-0fE8Mnma9Vq1Q/s200/blog+res+keychain.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div align="left">I started early, actually, buying myself a lovely rhinestone souvenir while we were in Texas over the holidays. It brightens my world. And I feel confident that my sparkly keychain is only the beginning.<br /><br />In addition to my resolution, there are changes I'm making in my life. They're not resolutions. They're changes. Course adjustments, perhaps. Like f'rinstance, I've cut back on my paid work time so that I can get back to focusing on my writing. I have a book to finish, so I'm clearing space for it. First I need to make room, I figure, and then maybe I can begin to remember how to be creative, be open, tell the story.<br /><br />But as I sat quietly today (something I almost never do--this is all part of making space), I remembered about the <em>knowing</em> part of myself. The part of me that already knows what I should be doing, how to open myself to the story, how to get to where I'm heading. That quiet little part deep down in there that never gives advice, but gives an encouraging nod and a twinkle when I'm on the right path. The part of me that just feels right when I land on what I've known all along.<br /><br />Resolution doesn't just mean deciding, after all. It's not only about our grandiose plans--to lose weight, quit smoking, sparkle more, or whatever. Resolution is also about clarity. We change the resolution on our computer screens when things don't look right. We change the resolution of our digital images to make them less pixellated, clearer. Resolution is about seeing things more clearly.<br /><br />Maybe my own resolution is simply that "<em>this is it</em>" feeling of heading the direction that I knew was right all along.<br /><br />Listening for that quiet voice that never speaks, but just nods, and gives a little twinkle.<br /><br />Like a rhinestone.<br /><br /></div><div><div align="left"></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1tuQBV9j2Yek_2VULZRax1Zv45zrZ6rKfJX8Z8totXEovhZEDFMWjUMGafCxyI4MYZcvzoyp0u9X1-aMLqqTOfN5gmfqN40Ei7SOtarwDEHRg5F6oQojdvdWjIFdPwFdWwouVw/s1600-h/blog+res+glasses.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5152787317492827650" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1tuQBV9j2Yek_2VULZRax1Zv45zrZ6rKfJX8Z8totXEovhZEDFMWjUMGafCxyI4MYZcvzoyp0u9X1-aMLqqTOfN5gmfqN40Ei7SOtarwDEHRg5F6oQojdvdWjIFdPwFdWwouVw/s200/blog+res+glasses.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div align="left"></div></div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-29081410255192145002007-11-29T14:09:00.000-05:002008-11-12T21:55:52.902-05:00Cave SpringI don't know if you've noticed, but there's a draught going on. The governor of North Carolina tells us we're supposed to SAVE WATER, so I'm doing what I can. The best way I know to do this is to start by simply being mindful. Do I really need to be showering this long? I'm clean now--I could just get out. What if I hand-wash this sinkful of dishes instead of putting them all in the dishwasher? Do I really <em>need</em> to flush? Important questions to ponder. Just being mindful.<br /><div><div><div><br /><div>In Georgia, the governor's declared a state of emergency for the northern part of the state, and is asking for prayer. When I heard this news, it connected with some deep place in me. My preacher granddaddy would have been bemused by this, I think, but I'm pretty sure he would have encouraged his congregation to add their voices to the growing swell. Fishin's lousy when the lake's low. And he definitely believed in the power of prayer.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHWdtown2kjdHrhdOy_ZAh8HTXHl6IoKn5Hyp_p9cwLGIuH1dY01I217HGtMouicr925trZ0EXmWcKTU_1Kik0L254Po2gG9I-D0FtNAoYZKqIHSHmNb1Xe2l5ojkCrBPy59mTfQ/s1600-h/IMG_1627.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5138348068695836706" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHWdtown2kjdHrhdOy_ZAh8HTXHl6IoKn5Hyp_p9cwLGIuH1dY01I217HGtMouicr925trZ0EXmWcKTU_1Kik0L254Po2gG9I-D0FtNAoYZKqIHSHmNb1Xe2l5ojkCrBPy59mTfQ/s200/IMG_1627.jpg" border="0" /></a>North Georgia water has been important to my family for decades. Our special secret lake is in northwest Georgia--our own magical family haven. Our sunshine-filled memories there go back to my mom's childhood--or would, if dementia hadn't stolen them away. I have pictures from back then. </div><div></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>I find myself thinking of Cave Spring, an old Georgia town not far away where we'd often go while we were at The Lake. Less than an hour from our haven, the historic cave in Cave Spring was always mysterious. And nobody in the family will forget the one year they actually had a perky tour guide to show us around the cave's small rooms, educating us knowledgably about the "stactalites and staglamites," now long gone, that had formerly graced its ceiling and floor.</div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg84ZAhOlfdzeDleTmfsbX2rJ8jG17hI0QdP1pcVAdgYXgpNvADH6OlpjZSdG43bTVUrYWBkpIwn4Psstv7wB4tmIBQD1WS7mJHYmYcEnIjuFsGnQvLFJX1N4snKpmHxhsGofP3qw/s1600-h/IMG_1643.jpg"></a>It still only costs a dollar to go in and explore the cave's depths by the light of the bare bulbs hanging from the rough, <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zJnZkXCKcKq2tHcGU9MyY04usNqAt4vQ4WQ-4ihDfiqaDCKeVCc72gKgOxZj0DqoFE5trlRXhVzggwVTptB45G2wBbbtuwikX-ZBwUuI3GzQboykSQljTECgK5v5WChooluojQ/s1600-h/IMG_1643.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5138347110918129682" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zJnZkXCKcKq2tHcGU9MyY04usNqAt4vQ4WQ-4ihDfiqaDCKeVCc72gKgOxZj0DqoFE5trlRXhVzggwVTptB45G2wBbbtuwikX-ZBwUuI3GzQboykSQljTECgK5v5WChooluojQ/s200/IMG_1643.jpg" border="0" /></a>damp ceiling. I know, because we went this past summer. My beloved, my children, my cousins and I all made our way over there, explored the cave, splurged on ice cream (never did THAT when I was a kid!), and waded in the ever-flowing water emerging from the cave.<br /><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>It's not just about the cave after all. It's Cave <em>Spring</em>. It's just as much about the water. People, all kinds of people, still bring their jugs from miles around to collect the sparkling water flowing from deep underground. Cold. Clear. Clean. Free. Somehow more honest than the water that comes out of the faucet or comes in little plastic bottles from the store.</div><br /><div>I just looked on the internet to see if I could find out, even in this time of Great Draught, if the water is still flowing at Cave Spring. My Google search turned up nothing.<br /><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>But I don't really need to find out. I think I know. After all, I haven't blogged since March, and yet here I am.<br /><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div> </div><div>The water still flows. I believe in it. </div><br /><div>If I'm thirsty, it's there.</div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPmFWCxhuiwTLxV89MXhYZEUyiyMF934nRAZVW3RHsfjIdEM7emDEB8CjpDgXUEXauC4OzNI0TGWXd8wLBH8R63AwnsEigA08qSJgzYQ9GXLgyEG1yZLJNYsHF-GvWrxokzzIIRA/s1600-h/IMG_1641.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5138346260514605042" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="186" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPmFWCxhuiwTLxV89MXhYZEUyiyMF934nRAZVW3RHsfjIdEM7emDEB8CjpDgXUEXauC4OzNI0TGWXd8wLBH8R63AwnsEigA08qSJgzYQ9GXLgyEG1yZLJNYsHF-GvWrxokzzIIRA/s320/IMG_1641.jpg" width="151" border="0" /></a></div></div></div></div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-40102855135207990012007-03-16T13:42:00.000-04:002008-11-12T21:55:53.043-05:00Life & DeathToday,<br />to mark the third anniversary<br />of my dad's passing,<br />I held a<br />four-day-old baby<br />against my chest<br />for an hour,<br />his tiny heart beating<br />against mine.<br />It gave me<br />hope.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOhWUE0KgVOFQx338hH0CxPinEYges-MutCIZa09lWb_PLpjFGfsVkG0rLvcz4mCfPH2mgJ4EaT0d3WBbLaupin5FU2VwRMAdsO9mkeweO-goEic3u9bt2zDlmq7riWuyT4Lydsw/s1600-h/babyfeet.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5042580005723481554" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOhWUE0KgVOFQx338hH0CxPinEYges-MutCIZa09lWb_PLpjFGfsVkG0rLvcz4mCfPH2mgJ4EaT0d3WBbLaupin5FU2VwRMAdsO9mkeweO-goEic3u9bt2zDlmq7riWuyT4Lydsw/s320/babyfeet.jpg" border="0" /></a>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-30081419604060600062007-01-27T12:08:00.000-05:002007-01-27T12:37:54.024-05:00> ding <<em>Fresh Water from Old Wells</em>. The title of my book-to-be. I've been thinking a lot about that title lately, bustin' it wi-i-i-ide open. I thought I knew what the fresh water and the old wells were, so I set out to figure out how I could fit them together. As I started trying to fit them, I realized that I actually <em>didn't</em> know exactly what they were. Time to back up.<br /><br />I was pretty sure I knew what the old wells were. My roots. Where I came from. My parents and grandparents. Where our family lived. All that stuff. So I needed to figure out about the fresh water.<br /><br />Fresh water, fresh water. I've been going on the assumption that it's me--me in the present, what I'm learning, the now. But as I explored this over the last few days, it became clear that fresh water is, to me, something much more specific. I came across a quote from my blog last April, and realized I'd known what fresh water was all along:<br /><br /><em><blockquote><em>Buddha said that carrying one's anger is like holding a burning-hot stone in your hand.<br /><br />I'm hoping that new understanding<br />will help me<br />finally<br />trade the hot weight of resentment<br />for the cool water of forgiveness,<br />running lightly across my fingers.</em><br /></blockquote></em><br />For me, fresh water is and has always been forgiveness. Ahh--that quiet ping of recognizing something that I've known all along. That's when I know it's real. I printed it out and stuck it on the wall above my new fountain.<br /><br />Okay, so fresh water is understanding and forgiveness. Then what are the old wells? Time to rethink that, too. This morning I got up and knew I needed to go for a walk. In fact, I knew exactly where I needed to go, through a nearby neighborhood to a high hill overlooking my little valley. It's rare that my walks have that clear a destination, so I figured I'd better head that way.<br /><br />Along the way there were several points when I nearly veered off in a different direction.<br /><br /><em>It's cold. I could go up that way, and be home for breakfast sooner.<br />Nope--gotta go where I'm headed.<br />I could head straight down that way, and see cows and fields.<br />Nope--gotta go where I'm headed.</em><br /><em></em><br />Here's the amazing part: when I got to the top of that neighborhood, set my foot at the top of the hill, an idea popped into my head, lightbulb-style.<br /><br /><em><blockquote><em>The old wells are the stories.</em></blockquote></em>There it was. Not the past, not the people, not the places. The stories. I sat down to think. If the old wells are the stories that I've been collecting from all these amazing people across the South, then the fresh water truly is my new perspective on all of it. Forgiveness. Cool water running lightly across my fingers.<br /><br />As the pieces settled into place, a gentle breeze stirred the windchimes to life on a porch nearby.<br /><br /><em>Ding, ding.</em> Right answer.<br /><br />Somebody's got a sense of humor.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-23114371418215936192007-01-25T14:09:00.000-05:002008-11-12T21:55:53.342-05:00WATERMELON!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTF4Uon_Vs_-nLxff0cePIjLA6Z5VaFRBmKJxjNbt38aRLWw07QT8e72B8t0Jh-R_lubRwGq0qIj7d_M7IDjkcu376wDNDafhuYV0T_ZbY0awtlZe8s1TIYRltlOMh8W01NdA8ZQ/s1600-h/IMG_0949.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5024058370559659458" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTF4Uon_Vs_-nLxff0cePIjLA6Z5VaFRBmKJxjNbt38aRLWw07QT8e72B8t0Jh-R_lubRwGq0qIj7d_M7IDjkcu376wDNDafhuYV0T_ZbY0awtlZe8s1TIYRltlOMh8W01NdA8ZQ/s320/IMG_0949.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />At the end of my recent crisis, I recognized that I would truly be heartbroken if I give up on my dream now. So I built a little fountain for my study, with special lake rocks and a slender candle, and recommitted myself to the effort.<br /><br />Yesterday I opened myself up to the <em>whatever’s next</em> that’s out there, brainstormed a little, watched my burbling fountain. Eventually it became clear that the only thing to do was get out in the woods with the dog. So I did.<br /><br />I drove on the parkway for a little bit and found a pull-off where I could get on a familiar trail. Zip up the coat, dog out of the car . . . I was only about ten steps into the woods when I heard my dad’s voice in my head as clearly as if he were on the path right behind me.<br /><div><div><div><br /><blockquote><em>I hope you’re ready, ‘cause this thing’s fixing to BUST WI-I-I-I-DE OPEN. Like a big ole ripe watermelon on the concrete. There’s gon’ be seeds and juice EVERYWHERE!</em></blockquote>I wasn’t afraid—his voice sounded like he’s as excited about it as I am. And he’s rooting for me. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZJgCjvYIqAAzod2ZSphQr3wKxNgv3TpVauRU4FrtMAaTfkyfNp3OjyLNPNoGP67t4fnWVltMt3fZwrH6rFiRJsFWBpPnI5uu1llnbtPwDhjtqsl9iDhsRjc1HbI5eenEKbDG7A/s1600-h/watermelon.jpg"></a><br /><br />I’m not sure what it means yet, but I’ve got my pen out. I’m ready. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinHcLqdRXsp3GWYvmGy-dhXVNvP2xviSEPLl-ZN_uVYwYrWCRYE_l76Vi2WH37T-uLruVavD262dQpJh8ItI81n5UOY_RP4utsQ-DyivOfWsmr-_o-4Nf-nhrRY4it1rPKY6cXGw/s1600-h/watermelon.jpg"></a><br /><br />And I do love watermelon. </div><br /><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFkuKEiBXrEOqKLXYKx9POj5334OvFeU155v_4tOoqf8YP2iB_g4hLZaa1PrfA4t3lMQJ0Ab4Ea7wMAIEK8R7MMkYSoSJYfrZ46a-g5cjgjZzLL8tY3rADTE00OprgN69v-irBgw/s1600-h/watermelon.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5024049144969907634" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFkuKEiBXrEOqKLXYKx9POj5334OvFeU155v_4tOoqf8YP2iB_g4hLZaa1PrfA4t3lMQJ0Ab4Ea7wMAIEK8R7MMkYSoSJYfrZ46a-g5cjgjZzLL8tY3rADTE00OprgN69v-irBgw/s320/watermelon.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div></div></div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-1169159540036160952007-01-18T17:23:00.000-05:002008-11-12T21:55:53.757-05:00Taking it all for granite<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8blNXhS7r8qqj6NHNgFFwJxGkerSkGfCLUxUOWPRzgm1CnoadAlYUIAAhGq6CoeoMIdYLOx1BwVKzag9hzXvDtoT8NS2GluoFNPyf4tPMXq4P2EBWUIMv-JqJXUzWQAZ5rkf6IA/s1600-h/img_0884.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5021737387412770146" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8blNXhS7r8qqj6NHNgFFwJxGkerSkGfCLUxUOWPRzgm1CnoadAlYUIAAhGq6CoeoMIdYLOx1BwVKzag9hzXvDtoT8NS2GluoFNPyf4tPMXq4P2EBWUIMv-JqJXUzWQAZ5rkf6IA/s200/img_0884.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><div><br /><div><div>My daughter Katie loves rocks. Always has. Show her a gravel driveway and she’s happy for hours—discovering, examining, imagining. To me, an expanse of gravel. To Katie, <em>ROCKS</em>!<br /><br />One of her favorite Christmas presents was a collection of rocks from all over the world. It’s a clear plastic box with fifteen little compartments, each holding two versions of the same rock—one polished, one not. A nascar driver and an opera singer in each little pocket. What a concept.<br /><br />Given Katie’s geologic tendencies, when our family went to Atlanta for a January getaway last weekend, it made sense for our first stop to be Stone Mountain. I was the only one of us who had ever been there, and hadn’t been back since our family moved to North Carolina when I was ten. I had blurry memories of Stone Mountain—family picnics by the lake, almost-ripe persimmons (yuck!), swimming in the mill pond, resting at the halfway house on the way up the trail, watching a blimp flying overhead on a gray winter’s day, so close I thought I could almost touch it. Happy memories. It’s good to remember that I have them.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibp_Y16Et7KxOITSQHv_oRa_5FhQ9f_N_Ng6e7LUrcn1pc_C4UivowzU_jfW94_Rpu9exIVNcQgeH3HNgrzT2oYQswEFqI-qoji2TEuNwxWN7h_H6kCwexUlwd_gxXUo4oeu3PBA/s1600-h/IMG_0877.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5021736395275324738" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibp_Y16Et7KxOITSQHv_oRa_5FhQ9f_N_Ng6e7LUrcn1pc_C4UivowzU_jfW94_Rpu9exIVNcQgeH3HNgrzT2oYQswEFqI-qoji2TEuNwxWN7h_H6kCwexUlwd_gxXUo4oeu3PBA/s200/IMG_0877.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />When we got there this time it only seemed vaguely familiar. The big carving on the side of the mountain is unforgettable, of course: Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis, all on horseback, as tall as a five-story building. An imposing trio. But the amusement park-style development around the base of the mountain is new. None of that was there thirty years ago, and John and I were just as glad that part was closed for the winter. We decided to splurge on tickets to ride the skyway to the top, and then hike the trail down.<br /><br />After a quick ride up, I emerged from the shiny building to find that the mountain top was just as I remembered it. A huge expanse of curved granite with all the busy-ness of metropolitan Atlanta spread on all sides below. It took my breath.<br /><br />As I stood taking it all in, my eye wandered to three men dressed in burgundy robes and sneakers. The older of the three was engaged in a halting conversation with a young woman wearing a sari with a baby in her arms—they clearly didn’t know each other. I drew closer and they welcomed me with smiles, so I perched on a ledge and listened. He was a Tibetan monk, an abbot, in fact, and she was asking about his religion, why he seemed so happy, his opinion about why most people are angry (“including me!” she said. “Especially in the morning,” her husband chimed in), and how she could be more like him, more serene in the midst of the ups and downs of her chaotic family.<br /><br />As I sat and listened, looking out from that amazing mountaintop, I thought, <em>no matter how humans may deface mountainsides and build tacky things, there will always be sacred places in the world that transcend all of it</em>. If you pay attention, in the midst of the metropolis, the sacred places are still there. Thirty years later. Thousands of years later. Still there.<br /><br />My life has felt out of whack lately. I nearly gave up on my dream of writing a book. I’ve been trying to think about priorities and the now clichéd concept of the “big rocks” in my life, the things that matter most.<br /><br />Maybe I need to focus on the sacred spaces instead. When I stop and listen to the wind, I realize that the big rocks, the things that matter, <em>are</em> the sacred spaces in my life. It’s the sacred spaces that matter most.<br /><br />But I have to see them as amazing rocks, not just gravel, to realize how sacred they are.<br /></div><div> </div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieXFGYBMu8JCcNLaQBiM_AQQSv-s34JaFeAyrlYvafEpq1PvP_NABWLknrKeBnwFd6ct6AVG8gpPwbujjExIs3LyYiBpJBubPuMITyQqy-RD9nXYqnt1xQIFrZQQcf_c9QEM9CYQ/s1600-h/IMG_0934.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5021737975823289730" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieXFGYBMu8JCcNLaQBiM_AQQSv-s34JaFeAyrlYvafEpq1PvP_NABWLknrKeBnwFd6ct6AVG8gpPwbujjExIs3LyYiBpJBubPuMITyQqy-RD9nXYqnt1xQIFrZQQcf_c9QEM9CYQ/s200/IMG_0934.JPG" border="0" /></a></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLN6WbcHAbFK_3kFet22luOtRPRSVMnUS7gqNnmnjt3ok-YuM-lXlUaBB4vCDTee4hqWoAOr3e4Fi73HxSGgUPO0hyphenhyphengMaUysUZH-krYy_syrCq2TgNxmFPXTk6yhW-Hph4TphSEQ/s1600-h/IMG_0934.JPG"></a></div></div></div></div>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-1158936451293661802006-09-22T10:43:00.000-04:002006-09-22T10:59:42.986-04:00little cat feetEvery day this week I’ve woken up and thought, “this day is significant.” Like it’s an anniversary of something, or somebody’s birthday. But I rack my brain, and I can’t think of anything at all associated with this date. Maybe every day is significant.<br /><br />Today is significant simply because it’s the day I write about fog. And here I am. It’s foggy this morning, so it’s an appropriate time to write about it. That quiet, dark feeling.<br /><br />But it’s not any old fog I want to write about—it’s specifically fog on the parkway. And not just any old <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/fog.jpg"></a>parkway. The Blue Ridge Parkway.<br /><br />Usually, when we talk about “being in a fog,” it’s a stagnant place. Lack of forward motion, lack of vision, no clarity, bordering on despair. But fog on the parkway is a very different thing. Hard to see through at times, but exciting.<br /><br />Here’s how it happens. I start out on a sunny morning, a little ambivalent about my destination, but enjoying the clear fall views out across the layers and layers of ridges. After about 35 minutes, just as I’m beginning to forget to drink it all in—whump—I’m in the fog. It’s not gradual. I don’t see it coming.<br /><br />Can’t go over it, can’t go under it, can’t go around it. Gotta go through the door.<br /><br />And then it’s magical in a whole new way. Mysterious. I downshift and take tentative steps forward.<br /><br />I’m still moving, though, and so is the fog. It slides down the escarpment above me, and caresses the car with its long fingers. It rolls and plays, an otter in the shallows. It kisses the trees and then moves on, while they stretch out in longing, waving it toward the valleys below.<br /><br />The fog delights in playing with my perspective. It blots out my vision, so that I can only see a few feet of the yellow line, emerging snake-like in front of me, just barely keeping me on the road. A car emerges abruptly, the headlights two blind saucers, and it’s gone.<br /><br />Then a bubble in the mist—still foggy above me and all around, but the road itself is a tunnel to follow. I can see what lies ahead and behind, but with no periphery whatsoever. Only my imagination and memory let me know what surrounds . . . if I trust them. After all, it could all be different now, couldn’t it?<br /><br />Abruptly, I’m whisked out of the fog. Azure above, miles of mountains spreading out, my way is clear. It looks like elation.<br /><br />Fog on the parkway is an apt metaphor for the last two years of my life, as well as my process of writing creatively.<br /><br />Especially before I decided to write, I said more than once that I felt like I was on the parkway in the fog. Just able to see what was directly in front of me, driving carefully, only able to focus on the immediate present because I had no idea where I was supposed to be going. Some part of me believed that the road kept going up there, and that it was winding around to someplace good, but I had no idea of the destination. Not even enough of an idea to be ambivalent. All I could do was drive, be curious, and try to be patient. The patience thing was tough—it was more like driving through the fog when you have to go to the bathroom <em>really bad</em>, but you don’t want to stop to do it.<br /><br />And even now that my general way is clear to me (I’m committed to seeing this book through to the end, and I know I’ve got three days a week to do it, more or less) the fog continues to tickle my ear lobes and curl my hair. It’s been clear which story I wanted to start with, but I have no idea what’s beyond it. I need to remember that the mist will reveal it to me when I get there.<br /><br />The writing process is the same. Keep moving, if blindly. Trust the path. Let the mist play around me, and enjoy it on the days I can. Notice the differences in texture, thickness, awareness. When clarity comes, celebrate! And write it all down before I’m back in the fog.<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/fog.0.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/fog.0.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Fog is water in the air—two elements in one. Transformative. It gets on your skin, and droplets rest lightly in your hair. You breathe it in instead of drinking. It becomes a part of you.<br /><br />In the fog, scenic overlooks are a joke, an exercise in futility. Fog forces me to follow my wise African friend’s advice—I can only be present in the here and now. The rest is gone. Evaporated in the mist.<br /><br />Fog is dynamic and alive. To enjoy the fog, rather than just enduring it, you must have comfort with ambiguity. You’ve got to relish the mysteries of life, rather than denying them. You’ve got to be willing to sit down and have a cup of tea with paradox. Pandora’s Box.<br /><br />You also have to be relaxed in the midst of complete silence (unusual in this noisy world). You’ve got to be an explorer. You must find excitement, rather than simply fear, in the unknown. You’ve got to be willing to learn, especially about yourself, since that’s just about all you can see when you’re in the fog.sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21883724.post-1157334931305669872006-09-03T21:29:00.000-04:002006-09-03T23:13:04.796-04:00Amazing Grace<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/ball.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 137px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 181px" height="224" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/ball.jpg" width="168" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/PP%20flowers.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/PP%20flowers.jpg" border="0" /></a> Great news! In the last throes of packing for the big trip to my brother Josh's wedding on the other coast, my digital camera appeared--and of course it appeared in a place I was certain I had checked several times already. At any rate, there it was. Once lost, now found. I never was blind, but now <em>you</em> can see . . . our trip anyway.<br /><br />I never have been too certain about what grace is<em>,</em> exactly. I know grace when I see it in movement, but people talk about God's grace, and I feel a little befuddled. But I think maybe I experienced some of it on this trip.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/bride%20dip.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 124px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 163px" height="163" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/200/bride%20dip.jpg" width="130" border="0" /></a>All weddings are historic events in the lives of their main characters, but this one especially. I've told you already the story of Josh, my half-brother, how I met him a few years ago, and fell in love immediately. But the part I didn't really explain was that he has a whole 'nother family on the other coast--parents, brothers, the whole shebang. But never have the two sides come together. Until now. For a brief moment, in the length of time that it takes to say "cheese," there was tuxed-up Josh with <em>all</em> his siblings: his four sisters from the east coast, and his three brothers from the west. All of us. For the first and perhaps the onliest time. What a moment. Josh was clearly delighted, and not a little in awe.<br /><br />But it might be that grace is sometimes experienced in darker moments as well. An unexpected wedding guest for me was an old, familiar surge of anger, one that I've not felt in quite some time. It came during the reception, after a series of toasts recounting various moments in Josh's life, including some references to his origins and my own dad. Even after all this time, all this work, all this "understanding" that I've been able to gain about my father by traveling through time, it turns out that I'm still mad. People start saying nice things about him, and I just want to get up and <em>set them straight</em>. It's an old, old knee-jerk response, and I wasn't happy to see that it's still in there.<br /><br />But here's the grace in it (if grace is what you call it): I felt those old feelings, succumbed for a little bit, and then caught myself. "Oh," I said, "I see what's happening here. It's you, my old friend Mr. Anger. Nice of you to stop by, but the truth is, you're not really needed now. Things are fine here." We shook hands, and off he went. I breathed, and it was over. He was gone.<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/hug.jpg"></a><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/hug.0.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" height="169" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/hug.0.jpg" width="127" border="0" /></a><br />And so is Dad.<br /><br />But the rest of us are still here, on this coast and that one, getting through our days, doing our best, raising our kids, still learning how to love.<br /><br />I can't define grace in words, but I think I have a sense of it anyway.<br /><br />And I'm glad to have my camera back.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/GQ.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="140" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/GQ.jpg" width="193" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/bubbles.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 201px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 136px" height="155" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/bubbles.jpg" width="223" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/PP%20fruit.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/PP%20fruit.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/on%20the%20ferry.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/320/on%20the%20ferry.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8094/2217/1600/bubbles.jpg"></a>sparkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902827410568014626noreply@blogger.com0